Dr. Ayesha Khan
Dr. Ayesha Khan

Understanding Essentials of Parenting: Raising Kids Right

6 min read

Parenting

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Parenting can often feel like an overwhelming and unending challenge.

You find yourself exhausted from endless tantrums, sleepless nights, and the constant worry about making the right decisions. The pressure to be perfect, and the fear of failing your child, can leave you questioning everything you do.

But there is a way to make parenting more manageable and fulfilling.

Let’s explore what parenting, its responsibilities, types, guidelines, challenges, and impact on raising children is.

What is Parenting?

Parenting goes beyond caring; it’s about creating a positive space where children can thrive.

It sets the foundation for a child's future by offering love, discipline, education, and emotional support. Parenting balances care and instruction, from nurturing during fear to fairness in handling misbehavior.

Key Responsibilities of Parents

Parents have a variety of roles and responsibilities, including but not limited to:

  1. Providing Physical Care: This includes ensuring a child has food, shelter, healthcare, and safety. Parents are the primary caretakers, ensuring their children’s basic needs are met for their well-being and health.
  2. Emotional Support: A loving environment is key. Children depend on their parents for comfort, validation, and affection. Emotional support nurtures self-esteem, empathy, and emotional intelligence.
  3. Teaching Values and Life Skills: Parenting goes beyond providing material needs. Parents teach their children values such as honesty, kindness, responsibility, and respect. Through actions and words, they model what it means to be a good human being.
  4. Discipline and Guidance: Setting boundaries is another crucial aspect of gentle parenting. Discipline is not about punishment but about teaching children to understand consequences and develop self-control. A balance of love and structure helps children grow into well-adjusted individuals.
  5. Education and Development: Parents play an integral role as models in a child’s education. From providing early learning opportunities to supporting academic progress, parents are their children’s first teachers. Encouraging curiosity, creativity, and critical thinking helps children develop their cognitive abilities.

Types of Parenting Styles

Parenting shapes the foundation of a child’s growth, character, and values.

Diana Baumrind, a well-known developmental psychologist, introduced a framework that categorizes parenting into four distinct styles: authoritarian, permissive, uninvolved, and authoritative. 

Each of these styles has its own set of characteristics, strengths, and challenges. Understanding these approaches helps parents reflect and make informed choices for their children’s well-being.

1. Authoritarian Parenting Style

Authoritarian parents are often associated with a strict and structured approach to raising human beings.

  • Discipline Style: These parents enforce rules rigidly, leaving little to no room for negotiation. Punishments are a common method of maintaining discipline.
  • Communication: Conversations between parent and child are primarily one-sided, with instructions flowing from the parent. The reasoning behind rules is rarely explained.
  • Nurturing: Emotional support is minimal, with a primary focus on compliance and following rules strictly.
  • Expectations: Authoritarian parents set high expectations but provide limited flexibility for their children to deviate from these standards.

While this style can instill discipline, it might lead to issues like reduced self-confidence and decision-making skills in children.

2. Permissive Parenting Style

Permissive, or indulgent, parenting is characterized by a lenient attitude where children are given significant freedom with minimal guidance.

  • Discipline Style: These parents often avoid strict rules or enforcement, giving children the liberty to resolve their challenges. Discipline is rarely a priority.
  • Communication: Open and unrestricted communication is encouraged, but permissive parents often let children make decisions without much parental input or direction.
  • Nurturing: This style is highly nurturing and supportive, fostering a warm and friendly relationship between parent and child.
  • Expectations: Expectations are either minimal or not established, allowing children to determine their paths.

This approach encourages creativity and independence. However, it may lead to less structure and trouble following rules.

3. Uninvolved Parenting Style

Uninvolved or neglectful parenting is marked by minimal interaction between parent and child. Parents in this category often take a hands-off approach, whether by choice or due to a lack of interest or knowledge about parenting.

  • Discipline Style: These parents lack a consistent method to enforce rules, often letting children manage their behavior.
  • Communication: Limited interaction means children often lack guidance and emotional support.
  • Nurturing: Minimal nurturing and emotional connection are provided, which can leave children feeling unsupported.
  • Expectations: Few, if any, expectations are set for children’s achievements or behavior.

This style may hinder emotional regulation and social skills, leaving children feeling neglected or uncertain.

4. Authoritative Parenting Style

Widely regarded as the most effective parenting, is the authoritative parenting style. This strikes a balance between structure, communication, and emotional support.

  • Discipline Style: Rules and boundaries are clear, with purposes explained to encourage the child's understanding and cooperation.
  • Communication: Frequent and age-appropriate discussions ensure children feel valued and involved in the decision-making process.
  • Nurturing: Children of authoritative parents receive consistent emotional support, fostering confidence and well-being in them.
  • Expectations: High but achievable goals are set, with children often having a say in shaping these parent expectations.

General Guidelines for Effective Parenting

No matter the parenting style, the following mindful parenting tips can help create a supportive and nurturing environment:

  1. Be Consistent: Consistency in rules and routines helps children feel secure and understand expectations.
  2. Encourage Open Communication: Create an atmosphere where your child feels comfortable sharing thoughts and concerns. Listen actively and validate their feelings.
  3. Set Clear Boundaries: Boundaries provide structure and teach children about responsibility and consequences.
  4. Show Unconditional Love: Regardless of mistakes or missteps, ensure your child knows they are loved and valued.
  5. Lead by Example: Children often mimic their parents’ behavior. Model kindness, respect, and resilience.
  6. Balance Freedom and Discipline: Set limits and allow children to make age-appropriate decisions while maintaining necessary restrictions.
  7. Foster Independence: Encourage problem-solving and self-reliance, but remain available for guidance and support.
  8. Invest Time: Be present in your child’s life through shared activities and regular family interactions.

Challenges in Parenting

Parenting is a rewarding but often challenging experience, filled with obstacles that require patience, adaptability, and support.

  • Balancing work, personal life, and childcare can be overwhelming
  • Children's needs evolve as they grow, requiring parents' support to adapt
  • Parenting involves constant adjustment and patience, from sleepless nights to dealing with adolescence
  • External factors such as economic hardship, societal pressures, and family dynamics affect parenting abilities
  • No parent is perfect, and seeking help or guidance is essential for both parents and children

The Impact of Positive Parenting

Adopting a positive parenting approach can lead to long-term benefits, fostering a nurturing environment where children can thrive.

  • Positive parenting is characterized by warmth, respect, and open communication.
  • Children raised in a supportive and nurturing environment are more likely to:
    • Have strong self-esteem
    • Develop good social skills
    • Maintain a healthy outlook on life
    • Manage their emotions and make thoughtful decisions
    • Build lasting relationships

In conclusion, parenting is a rewarding yet challenging journey that requires love, patience, and guidance. By understanding different parenting types and recognizing your responsibilities, a nurturing environment for your child can be created. Adapting to challenges plays a key role in this process.

Embracing positive parenting practices will shape your child's future and help them grow into confident, responsible individuals. Remember, there is no one-size-fits-all approach, but consistency, communication, and love are key.

Start applying these guidelines today for a more fulfilling parenting experience.

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Frequently Asked Questions

What to do when you can't handle your child anymore?

When you feel overwhelmed by your child's behavioral problems, it’s important to pause and take a deep breath. Here are steps to regain control and manage the situation:

  • Take a Break: Step away for a few moments if you’re feeling frustrated. Even a brief break can help you reset emotionally.
  • Stay Calm: Take a few deep breaths, and try to respond rather than react. Calmness helps you think clearly.
  • Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out to a partner, family member, or friend for help. Sometimes, just talking to someone can ease the stress.
  • Set Boundaries: Reassess your child’s behavior and set clear, consistent boundaries to guide them back on track.
  • Reflect on Triggers: Understand what’s causing the tension. It could be your child’s needs or your stress. Identifying triggers can help prevent future meltdowns.
  • Self-care: Ensure you're taking care of your mental health and emotional well-being. 

What are the five positive parenting skills?

Positive parenting focuses on building a healthy, nurturing, and supportive relationship with your child. The five key skills include:

  1. Active Listening
  2. Consistency
  3. Empathy
  4. Positive Reinforcement
  5. Effective Communication

What is the 7 7 7 rule for parenting?

The 7 7 7 rule is a parenting strategy. Spend 7 minutes daily in the following three key areas:

  1. 7 minutes of physical affection: Hug, kiss, or simply hold your child, creating a physical connection.
  2. 7 minutes of focused, undivided attention: Spend time playing, talking, or engaging in an activity your child enjoys.
  3. 7 minutes of active listening or conversation: Allow your child to share their thoughts and feelings, ensuring they feel heard and understood. This rule promotes stronger bonds, improves communication, and helps parents build positive relationships with their children.

What defines good parenting?

Good parenting is characterized by a balance of love, support, and discipline, combined with respect for your child's individuality. Key qualities of good parenting include:

  • Love and Affection: Consistently showing love and care for your child, ensuring they feel secure and valued.
  • Boundaries and Discipline: Setting clear rules and expectations while teaching your child to understand consequences.
  • Active Engagement: Being involved in your child's life, interests, and development through communication, guidance, and shared experiences.
  • Empathy and Patience: Understanding your child’s needs, emotions, and frustrations, and responding calmly and thoughtfully.
  • Adaptability: Being flexible and open to adjusting your approach as your child grows and develops.

What is the 80/20 rule in parenting?

The 80/20 rule in parenting suggests that 80% of parenting success comes from 20% of your efforts. This principle emphasizes focusing on the most impactful actions that support positive child development. For example:

  • 80% of your child’s behavior is shaped by consistent discipline, routine, and emotional support.
  • The 20% refers to occasional activities, rewards, or indulgences that still matter but shouldn't dominate. Focus on key aspects of parenting, such as emotional support, consistency, and love. This leads to a positive impact on your child's growth and well-being.
Dr. Ayesha Khan

WRITTEN BY

Dr. Ayesha Khan (Child Welfare)

Dr. Ayesha Khan is a dedicated social worker with over 15 years of experience in child welfare and community development. As a passionate advocate for vulnerable children, she has worked tirelessly to create safe and nurturing environments for orphans and underprivileged youth. Dr. Khan holds a PhD in Social Work and has specialized in developing sustainable programs that support the holistic development of children. Through her work at Pakistan Sweet Home, she aims to raise awareness and inspire action through her insightful and compassionate writing.

Dr. Ayesha Khan is a dedicated social worker with over 15 years of experience in child welfare and community development. As a passionate advocate for vulnerable children, she has worked tirelessly to create safe and nurturing environments for orphans and underprivileged youth. Dr. Khan holds a PhD in Social Work and has specialized in developing sustainable programs that support the holistic development of children. Through her work at Pakistan Sweet Home, she aims to raise awareness and inspire action through her insightful and compassionate writing.

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